As observed by Arveson and Akemann+Pedersen, if $J$ is an ideal in a ${\rm C}^\ast$-algebra $B$, then one can always find a contractive approximate identity for $J$, call it $(e_\lambda)_{\lambda\in\Lambda}$, such that $0\leq e_\lambda$ for all $\lambda$ and $\Vert be_\lambda-e_\lambda b\Vert \to 0$ for each $b\in B$.
A proof can be found in e.g. the Higson–Roe book on analytic K-homology. The proof actually shows that such an approximate identity can always be found in the closed convex hull of a given b.a.i. for $J$. So in the case where $J=K(H)$ inside $B=B(H)$, it should be possible in theory to work through the proof and extract an explicit construction of a b.a.i. with these additional properties. However, I wondered if there is simply a reference in the literature that already does this. Does anyone know of such a reference?
Note that the obvious approximate identity for $K(H)$, where we fix an o.n. basis for $H$ and then take $e_n={\rm diag}(1,\dots, 1, 0,\dots)$, does not give something quasi-central for $K(H)$ inside $B(H)$: see this note by J. L. Orr (Proc. Amer. Math. Soc. 105 (1989), 149–50) for a proof of a stronger result. Indeed, if it were quasi-central I think we'd end up proving that $B(H)$ is quasi-diagonal ${\rm C}^*$-algebra, which is certainly not the case.