To see why the second question cannot have a simple answer, it is sufficient to look at the local context near a fixed-point of a tangent-to-identity mapping, as Alexandre Eremenko suggests. By "a simple answer" I mean that a necessary and sufficient condition solving the problem posed by the OP is unlikely to be a (semi-)algebraic or (semi-)analytic condition expressed on the space of (germs of a) real-analytic diffeo.
On the one hand, an holomorphic parabolic germ $f(z)=z+az^{k+1}+\dotsb$ has its orbits organized along $2k$ petals, alternatively repulsive and attractive (Léau's theorem), and the space of its non-stationary orbits is the (non-Hausdorff) complex curve obtained by gluing $2k$ spheres near $0$ and $\infty$ to form a "necklace" consisting in $2k$ beads (Écalle–Voronin's theorem). In iterative dynamics, the gluing mappings are called "horn maps". Therefore, even at a topological level (i.e. allowing orientation preserving homeos $\phi$), the equivalence classes of orbits spaces of conformal diffeos is stratified by countably many strata (indexed by the number $2k$ of beads).
On the other hand, the dynamics of 2-dimensional tangent-to-identity real-analytic germs $g$ near an isolated fixed-point is much richer than that, in particular because the complexified diffeo $g_\mathbb{C}:(\mathbb{C}^2,0)\to(\mathbb{C}^2,0)$ has a curve of fixed-point that might remain unseen from the real plane, but still carries a lot of dynamical constraints. Papers on that topic appeared regularly in the last 30 years (see e.g. Bedford) and still do, and they all tend to show that orbits spaces (and their real slices) of parabolic 2-dimensional holomorphic germs are really complicated objects. For instance, in a recent preprint,
Klimeš and Stolovitch study a relatively tame and restrictive family of parabolic germs for which the space of orbits is more like an infinite necklace (i.e. with infinitely many beads and horn maps).
Germs near a fixed-point with irrational multiplier are probably a lot more difficult to fathom. And that's only the local question.