Homotopy fixed points and orbits make sense in a much wider (but not necessarily less elementary!) context than for spaces and spectra. In particular, they make sense for categories. Some examples:
- Suppose $G$ is a group acting on another group $N$. The homotopy quotient of this action (thinking of $N$ as a one-object category) is the semidirect product $N \rtimes G$. (This can be stated as a fact about spaces, where it says that the homotopy quotient of $BN$ by an action of $G$ induced by an action on $N$ is $B(N \rtimes G)$.)
- Suppose $G$ is a group, $A$ is an abelian group on which $G$ acts, and $\alpha \in H^2(BG, A)$ is a $2$-cocycle. The $2$-cocycle can be used to modify the action of $G$ on $A$ in such a way that the homotopy quotient of this action is the extension of $G$ by $A$ determined by $\alpha$. (This can also be stated as a fact about spaces.)
- Again suppose $G$ is a group acting on another group $N$. This induces an action of $G$ on $\text{Rep}(N)$. The homotopy fixed points of this action is $\text{Rep}(N \rtimes G)$.
- Let $K \to L$ be a finite Galois extension with Galois group $G$. Then $G$ naturally acts on the category $\text{Lie}(L)$ of Lie algebras over $L$. The homotopy fixed points of this action is $\text{Lie}(K)$.
If you insist on examples involving spaces, to my mind the nicest examples come from homotopy quotients by actions of $\mathbb{Z}$. Such actions correspond to homeomorphisms $f : X \to X$ from a space to itself, and the homotopy quotient can be modeled by the mapping torus of $f$. One of the many great things about the mapping torus construction is that if it takes as input a diffeomorphism of a smooth manifold, it returns as output a smooth manifold of one dimension higher which only depends on the class of the diffeomorphism in the mapping class group. In particular, the mapping torus turns mapping class group elements of surfaces into $3$-manifolds, and knowledge about how mapping class group elements behave turns into knowledge about the corresponding $3$-manifolds.
You can draw pretty pictures here, too. For example, the mapping class group of an $n$-punctured disk is the braid group $B_n$, and you can draw very vividly what the mapping torus of an element of the braid group looks like: it's the complement of the link determined by the braid group element in a solid torus.
By contrast, the ordinary quotient of a space by the action of a homeomorphism can be quite ugly, and this is enough to give examples of both of the kinds of phenomena you ask for. Consider, for example, an irrational rotation of $S^1$: the quotient space is not even Hausdorff, but the homotopy quotient space is the torus $S^1 \times S^1$. The irrational rotation is homotopy equivalent as an action to the identity, and the corresponding quotient space is now $S^1$.
One last example involving spaces which is also relatively easy to visualize. Consider the action of $\mathbb{Z}_2$ on $S^1$ by reflection. The quotient by this action is the interval, and in particular is contractible. The orbifold / stacky quotient should look like the interval, but where the two endpoints are orbifold / stacky points with stabilizer $\mathbb{Z}_2$, and so one might guess that the homotopy quotient should be the wedge sum of two copies of $B \mathbb{Z}_2$, or equivalently $B (\mathbb{Z}_2 \ast \mathbb{Z}_2)$. Thinking of $S^1$ as $B \mathbb{Z}$ and using the first example I gave above, the homotopy quotient is in fact $B(\mathbb{Z} \rtimes \mathbb{Z}_2)$. But no problem: these groups are isomorphic!