Here is a simple argument (simpler than other answers so far) that the answer to Q2 is negative — specifically, that for any $\newcommand{\l}{\ell}\l \geq 2$ and any $N\!$, there are disjoint families $G$, $H$ of sets of size $\l$ (“$\ell$-sets”) such that any distinguisher for $G$ and $H$ has size $\geq N\!$.
Our first goal will be: Find disjoint families $G$ and $H$ of $\ell$-sets such that for each edge $(i,j)$ of the complete graph $K_{2^N}$, $G$ and $H$ contain a pair of sets $g_{i,j}$, $h_{i,j}$ differing only in replacing $i$ with $j$.
For this, write $M = 2^N$; now take the “ambient set” $U$ from which $G$, $H$ are drawn to consist of $[M] \cup S \cup T$, where $[M] = \{1, \ldots, M\}$, then $S$ is any set of size $\binom{M}{2}$ disjoint from $\{1, \ldots M\}$, and $T$ is any set of size $\l - 2$ disjoint from $[M] \cup S$. Write the elements of $S$ as $(s_{i,j})_{1 \leq i < j \leq M}$. (So for concreteness, $U$ could be $[M + \binom{M}{2} + (\l-2)]$.) Now take:
\begin{align*}
g_{i,j} &= T \cup \{ s_{i,j} \} \cup \{i\} \quad \text{(for each $0 \leq i < j \leq M$)}\\
h_{i,j} &= T \cup \{ s_{i,j} \} \cup \{j\} \\
G & = \{ g_{i,j} \mid 0 \leq i < j \leq M \} \\
H & = \{ h_{i,j} \mid 0 \leq i < j \leq M \} \\
\end{align*}
This achieves the first goal: $S$ serves to keep $G$, $H$ disjoint, while $T$ brings their members up to size $\l$.
Now, I claim any distinguisher $D$ for $G$, $H$ must have size $\geq N$. Given such $D$, take $D' = \{ s \cap [M] \mid s \in D\}$; clearly $|D'| \leq |D|$, and $D'$ must still distinguish each pair $(g_{i,j},h_{i,j})$, since these differ only within $[M]$, so if some $s \in D$ distinguishes them, so does $s \cap [M]$. So in the partition of $[M]$ induced by all Boolean combinations of sets of $D'$, all classes must be singletons — otherwise if $i \neq j$ were in the same class, $D'$ wouldn’t distinguish $g_{i,j}$ from $h_{i,j}$. But there are at most $2^{|D'|}$ classes in this partition; so $2^{|D'|} \geq M = 2^N$, so $N \leq |D'| \leq |D|$ as desired.
This completes the proof: we have families $G$, $H$ of $\l$-sets (with $|G| = |H| = \binom{2^N}{2}$) for which any distinguisher must have size $\geq N$.
The size of the ambient set $U$ can be easily tightened up a bit by replacing $S \cup T$ above with a single set $S$ such that $\binom{S}{\ell-1} \geq \binom{M}{2}$, and taking $g_{i,j} = s_{i,j} \cup \{i\}$, $h_{i,j} = s_{i,j} \cup \{j\}$ for distinct sets $s_{i,j} \subseteq S$. I don’t see any such easy way to reduce the sizes of $G$ and $H$, but I’m sure that can be done.