The work of Baues and collaborators on the secondary Steenrod algebra gives a category in which Ext is the $E_3$-term of the Adams spectral sequence. This must in some sense decide the $d_2$ differential, especially if there is a clear relation between Baues' E_3 = secondary-Ext and the usual $E_2$-term. I am sorry that I can't be more explicit off the top of my head.
As for Steenrod operation differentials, they only apply in $Ext(H^*R,F_p) \Longrightarrow \pi_*R$ for an $H_\infty$-ring spectrum $R$. Fortunately, the sphere spectrum is $H_\infty$ and perhaps this is what you care about. For such spectra, at $p=2$, the 'generic' differential is $d_2(\cup_i(x)) = h_0\cup_{i-1}(x)$ if $i \equiv n \pmod{2}$, and similarly at odd $p$. Unfortunately, 'most' elements are not in the image of a $\cup_i$ operation.
The computability result you have heard about is probably that of Ed Brown:
MR0083733
Brown, Edgar H., Jr.
Finite computability of Postnikov complexes.
Ann. of Math. (2) 65 (1957), 1--20.
As Neil says, it shows that the homotopy groups of a finite simplicial complex are effectively computable, but the result is not a practical algorithm. It also does not directly say anything about the Adams spectral sequence, which is a rather different approach to those homotopy groups.