Answer to 2): In my experience, I think an abstract is not appropriate in a list of publications.

Answer to 1): A submitted article that nobody can see is basically a non-existing article - the committee members do not even now whether it is a deep 300-page-essay or a 2-page-note. More generally, I believe that mentioning preprints or submitted articles in an applications is only somewhat intereting if the committee members can use these pieces of information to extract a pattern about your research, otherwise is not really useful, perhaps even dangerous ("this guy has posted his paper on XYZ in the arXiv in 2009 and in 2012 it has not yet been published, uhm").

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Let me add that in the last few months the policies of Elsevier and Springer about arXiv have become explicitly supportive - see their home pages. This has been enough for me to convince all my co-authors to post our manuscripts in the arXiv - even those co-authors who would have been skeptical a few years ago. Besides, virtually all publishers allow self-archiving - I would be surprised if your coauthors would object even to your posting a joint paper on your own web page.