I turned 40 late this past year after a long and unhappy life taking care of sick family and then enduring my own illnesses that have slowed my progress considerably. But I'm nearly finished with my Master's in mathematics after getting a subpar bachelor's in chemistry and I'm planning for my PHD. My health is the number one concern here as far as being able to do it. I know when I'm on my A game, I'm as good as anybody. The problem is that happens less and less these days
Am I scared? SURE. Especially hanging around with 19 year olds who can run rings around me because they don't need to sleep........ But I can't give up now. I've suffered and lost just too much. And anyone walking the same path shouldn't have any other attitude except that. PERIOD.
I've got a Master's degree almost, some terrific grades in some very hard graduate mathematics courses and some not so great grades and incompletes. I've learned some awesome subjects and had some fantastic teachers.I've been reviewing textbooks for the Mathematical Society of America pro bono for almost 2 years and I LOVE the job. I have a blog on mathematics I don't write in often enough,but I intend for that to change.I have the same philosophy on mathematics that the late great science fiction writer Fredric Brown had on writing: His wife said after his death he hated to write,but LOVED having written. I love having written mathematics......
I don't even care about grades anymore. I was obsessed by it once,but you know what? After watching half your family die slowly in agony of cancer and seeing entire families live out of their cars after falling behind on their mortgages,it really puts a perspective on things. I doubt the fact I got a C+ in advanced ordinary differential equations because I got sick the last 3 weeks will matter if I publish 6 significant papers on additive number theory over the next 2 years, do you guys?
Yeah, I know, in academia,what I just said is heresy. But you have to keep it real.
I'll make it or I won't. I'll get a PHD in mathematics and spend a few years making contributions and teaching or I'll die of a massive heart attack trying. It's as simple as that.
