I believe the answers to these questions are all positive. This kind of problem was discussed by Groszek and Laver in Finite groups of OD-conjugates [Period. Math. Hungar. 18 (1987), 87-97, MR0895774]. Answering a question of Mycielski, they show that there can be two sets of reals $x,y$ such that $\lbrace x,y\rbrace$ is ordinal definable but neither $x$ nor $y$ is ordinal definable. They also prove a lot of other things about OD conjugates.
François G. Dorais
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