(I asked this question on Math.SE earlier but received no response and am therefore moving it here, please note that I realise this question is probably incredibly naïve for the experienced set-theorist, but for an outsider it seems like an important question to ask, and am therefore asking it. )
Von-Neumann ordinals can be thought of as "canonical" well-orders, indeed every well-order $(W,<)$ has a unique ordinal that is its "order type".
This raises the question of why a canonical order is needed, it seems to me that every application of ordinals can be done by using a "large enough" well-ordered set instead that is guaranteed by Hartogs' lemma$^{*}$, for example, instead of performing a transfinite process on an ordinal, we perform it on the "large enough" well ordered set $(X, <)$ whose existence is guaranteed by Hartogs' lemma. Using this method we can prove the first basic applications of ordinals such as Zorn's Lemma$^{\dagger}$ (see for example Asaf Karagila's answer to Zermelo set theory and Zorn's lemma).
$^{*}$ For the purposes of this question let Hartogs' Lemma state: For every set $S$, there exists a well-ordered set $(X, <)$, such that there is no injection from $X\to S$.
$^{\dagger}$ Interestingly popular set-theory books give the exact same argument using ordinals, which are totally superfluous (and need not exist without replacement)!
Remarks/Notes:
The above observations seem to imply, that the "working mathematician" can totally ignore ordinals, but I am more interested in why they are so important to the working set-theorist/logician (given that they literally are a set-theorist's "bread and butter").
This is not an entirely useless question that does not "affect things" in any way, since ordinals $\ge \omega+\omega$ need not exist in $\mathsf{ZFC}-\mathsf{Replacement}$, and indeed the above method gives a proof of Zorn's lemma in $\mathsf{ZFC}-\mathsf{Replacement}$. Given that many find replacement dubious, this seems like a strong argument for not using ordinals. (OK, without replacement sets of size larger than $\aleph_{\omega}$ need not exist, but assuming replacement the above method can easily construct such large sets without the need for ordinals.)
I suppose one can ask a similar question about cardinal numbers: Why do we need cardinal numbers, when we can reason about cardinalities using simply injections and bijections on sets?
Ordinals seem to give us a "uniform definability" but is that actually useful?
One answer that I have received is "convenience", but if convenience is the answer why do we need a formal notion that takes hours to develop when an informal notion seems to suffice (formally)?