Let $\mathbb{T}^2=\mathbb{S}^1 \times \mathbb{S}^1$ be the flat $2$-dimensional torus, and let $0<\sigma_1 < \sigma_2$ satisfy $\sigma_1 \sigma_2=1$.
Does there exist an area-preserving diffeomorphism $f:\mathbb{T}^2 \to \mathbb{T}^2$ whose singular values are constant $\sigma_1 , \sigma_2$?
An immediate family of such diffeomorphisms which comes to mind are the affine (geodesic-preserving) maps which are induced by elements of $SL_2(\mathbb{Z})$. However, this family does not cover the entire range of pairs $\{ (\sigma_1,\frac{1}{\sigma_1}) \, | \, \sigma_1 \in (0,1) \}$, since it's countable. Furthermore the set of $\sigma_1$ which are admissible in this affine family is discrete away from zero, which is its only accumulation point. Are there any non-affine examples?
Edit:
Robert Bryant has given an answer which shows that there is no non-affine $C^3$ example. I wonder what happens if we allow reduced regularity, say Lipschitz maps whose differential has a.e. the singular values $\sigma_1 , \sigma_2$.