Here's my understanding of the Nimbers and of your question. Actually, you'll see that I do need to beg the question somewhere, but since you do know a proof of the bitxor rule, perhaps that's allowed --- then my answer can be understood as a proof that your proof implies your proof is natural. (Said that way it sounds like an application of Lob's theorem, or perhaps a converse....)

By "Nimbers" I mean Nim games with Conway's game addition (put two games next two each other; on your turn, you choose one of the two boards to play on) modulo the second-player-win Games. By definition, a "game" is one where you lose when you cannot make a turn. The Nimbers are the classes of single-column Nim games.

The zeroth observation is that addition (henceforth "$+$") is commutative, and that for any game $g$, the game $-g$ in which the roles are reversed is its inverse.

The first observation, then, is that impartial games, and multi-column Nim games in particular, are 2-torsion: for any Nim game $g$, we have $g + g = 0$. Thus the group generated by the Nimbers is a vector space over $\mathbb F_2$.

The next ingredient I don't really have an a priori reason for, which is that the sum of any two Nimbers is a Nimber. Actually, proving this is probably just about the same as finding the bitxor formula, so perhaps my whole story is question-begging. But let's assume that this second ingredient is just an "observation".

The third observation is the following. Let $G_k$ denote the group generated by the Nimbers $1,\dots,k$. If you allow the second observation, then it is not hard to see that if $n \in G_k$, then for every $m < n$, $m\in G_k$. Indeed, if $n\in G_k$, then I can write $n = \sum a_i$ for some sum of Nimbers with $a_i \leq k$. Let's play the game $n + \sum a_i$, which is a second-player win by assumption. Being magnanimous, I'll go first. On my turn I turn $n$ into $m$. Now you definitely have a move the return the sum to $0$. It definitely doesn't involve the pile I touched, so it must involve dropping one of the $a_i$s to an $a_i' < a_i$. But $a_i$ was one of our generators in $1,\dots,k$, and so $a_i'$ is also one of those generators.

Now we can put the observations together to describe the structure of the Nimbers. We have $G_0 = \{0\}$ and $G_1 = \{0,1\}$ is the group of order $2$. By induction, the set of Nimbers $G = \{0,1,\dots,2^k-1\}$ is closed under Nimber addition. Consider $G_{2^k}$. It is an $\mathbb F_2$-vector space generated by $G$, which has $2^k$ elements, and by one more element. Thus $|G_{2^k}| = 2^{k+1}$. Thus $G_{2^k} = \{0,\dots,2^{k+1}-1\}$. The induction can then continue.

So the Nimbers are naturally organized as an $\mathbb N$-filtered $\mathbb F_2$-vector space: $$\{0\} \subset \{0,1\} \subset \{0,1,2,3\} \subset \{0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7\} \subset \dots \subset \{0,\dots,2^{k-1}\} \subset \dots.$$
This doesn't completely pin down the addition, but it makes bitxor seem very likely. For example, it implies that if $m,n \in \{2^{k-1},\dots,2^k-1\}$, so that they have the same leading digit mod $2$, then their sum $m+n < 2^{k-1}$, and on the other hand if $m < 2^{k-1}$ and $n \in \{2^{k-1},\dots,2^k-1\}$, then $m+n \in \{2^{k-1},\dots,2^k-1\}$. This gives the bitxor rule in the leading digit.

Of course, this analysis still allows lots of group structures on $\{0,\dots,2^k-1\}$. The rule is only that the structure has to extend the one on $\{0,\dots,2^{k-1}-1\}$. You can write down ad hoc group structures by twisting the given one by any permutation of $\{2^{k-1},\dots,2^k-1\}$. To completely pin down the bitxor group law requires playing a bit more with the third observation, I think. Let's see if we can do it. We know that the bitxor rule applies to Nimbers $N < 2^k$, by induction. We also know that $2^k + 2^k = 0$, so it applies to $N \leq 2^k$. To prove the claim, it suffices to prove that the Nimber of height $2^k+2^j$ for $j<k$ is equal to the Nim addition $2^k + 2^j$. Everything else will follow from linear algebra. But now all I need to do is to tell you a second-player-win strategy for the three-column Nim game with heights $2^j$, $2^k$, and $2^k+2^j$. Well, let's suppose you play on column $2^j$. Then I have such a strategy by induction in $j$ (and linear algebra). Suppose you play on column $2^k$. Then you make it into something in $\{0,\dots,2^k-1\}$, and adding $2^j$ keeps me in that group, so I just need to drop the column of height $2^k+2^j$ to match. Finally, suppose you play on column $2^k+2^j$. If you leave it above $2^k$, I'll play on column $2^j$ to match, and use induction in $j$ to know that that works. If you take it below height $2^k$, I'll drop the $2^k$-column to make the sum come out, using bitxor in the group $\{0,\dots,2^k-1\}$.

Perhaps this is the proof you already know. It certainly is a follow-your-nose proof.

Winning Waysthey cook up lots of other games, but as long as they're impartial two-person games where the last player to move wins, they all reduce to Nim. XOR arises because of the definition of the sum of two games, as Douglas Zare has explained. If you change the way you combine two games then you can indeed get other operations, but there aren't that many natural ways to combine two games. $\endgroup$4more comments