This is a updated question closely related to the one I posted several days ago in math.SE. (I've put on math.SE, but there is no answer so far.)
Thanks to Christian Blatter's answer to that question, the limit (there are 9 limits here indeed.) $$ \lim_{y\to\xi}\frac{(\xi_i-y_i)(\xi_j-y_j)({{\xi}-y})\cdot n(y)}{|\xi-y|^5},\quad 1\leq i,j\leq 3,\tag{1} $$ does not exist in general. Here $S\subset{\mathbb R}^3$ is a surface which has a continuously varying normal vector, $\xi=(\xi_1,\xi_2,\xi_3)\in S$, $y=(y_1,y_2,y_3)\in S$, $n(y)$ is the unit normal vector at point $y$. Here $(\xi-y)\cdot n(y)$ is the dot product.
The key point in the counterexample is that the quotient is of order $\frac{1}{|\xi-y|}$. I am interested in the following "updated" limit: $$ \lim_{y\to\xi}\,[\psi_j(\xi)-\psi_j(y)]\frac{(\xi_i-y_i)(\xi_j-y_j)({{\xi}-y})\cdot n(y)}{|\xi-y|^5},\quad 1\leq i\leq 3,\tag{2} $$ where the Einstein summation convention is applied for $j$ here and $\psi_j:S\to{\mathbb R}$ is assumed to be $C^{\infty}$. Or without normalization, consider the limit $$ \lim_{y\to\xi}\,[\psi_j(\xi)-\psi_j(y)]\frac{(\xi_i-y_i)(\xi_j-y_j)({{\xi}-y})\cdot \frac{\partial y}{\partial\alpha}\times\frac{\partial y}{\partial\beta}}{|\xi-y|^5},\quad 1\leq i\leq 3,\tag{3} $$ where $y(\alpha,\beta)=(y_i(\alpha,\beta))_{1\leq i\leq3}$ is a parameterization of $S$.
Here is the new question:
Does the updated limit (2) or (3) exist?
Intuitively, the $[\psi_j(\xi)-\psi_j(y)]$ term may compensate the order of the numerator. In the trivial case where $S$ is a plane, the quotient is $0$. But I don't have a strategy for the general case (e.g., when $S$ is a unit ball).