P.S. Excuse me, I understood that the state (3) satisfies (4), because this functional acts only on the discrete part $\alpha^d$ of the measure $\alpha$
$$
\sigma(\alpha)=\sigma(\alpha^d)
$$
and this means that we can consider the discrete topology on the group $G$, and with this topology $G$ becomes again a locally compact Abelian group $G^d$, and $\sigma$ can be considered as a state on the algebra $M(G^d)$, and we again can apply the Bochner theorem.
So my conjecture was not true, I am sorry. However, the initial (main) question remains open: if somebody could explain how to separate "regular states" from "irregular" using only the properties of $M(G)$, that would be great.