(Edit: Reacting to Denis's comment a clarification: Why should we consider these two kinds of equivalences? Geometrically, $G$-homotopy equivalences (i.e. we have an equivariant homotopy inverse and the homotopies are also equivariant) are maybe the most relevant notion. As in non-equivariant topology, there is a Whitehead theorem showing that genuine weak equivalences between $G$-CW complexes are $G$-homotopy equivalences. Illman's theorem shows that every compact $G$-manifold has the structure of a $G$-CW complex, so one can say that most nice $G$-spaces have the structure of a $G$-CW complex. If we want a Whitehead theorem for underlying equivalences instead, we must demand that the $G$-action is free though. Sometimes we are happy to do this, but often this is too restrictive. The different families $\mathcal{F}$ correspond to allowing different families of isotropy. )
It is the $\infty$-category associated with the underlying equivalences that can be modelled by homotopy coherent actions. Taking the coherent nerve of the simplicial category of spaces $\mathcal{S}$, we obtain the $\infty$-category of spaces and the $\infty$-category of spaces with homotopy coherent $G$-action is then modelled/defined as simplicial set maps (aka functors) from $BG$ into this coherent nerve. (If we fix $X$, this is the same as simplicial set maps from $BG$ into $B$ of the homotopy automorphisms of $X$.) This $\infty$-category is equivalent to that associated with $G$-spaces and underlying equivalences. (It is nothing special about starting with a group here. We can instead take functors from an arbitrary small category $\mathcal{C}$ into topological spaces and have a similar story using $B\mathcal{C}$. See e.g. Proposition 4.2.4.4 of Higher Topos Theory.)