Have a good joke? Share.
I know this is subjective, but the principle "should be of interest to mathematicians" trumps. (I hope.)
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closed as off topic by Scott Carnahan♦, Scott Morrison♦ Dec 24 at 2:21 |
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I excuse my english if you spot some flaws...., since this is my first post here I thought it would be nice to share some neat jokes. 1) A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were out in the countryside when they met a farmer trying to build a fence. They introduced themselves and the farmer asked them if they could help him shape the fence so he would get as much space as possible within it. The engineer stepped forward and said, that it would be best for the farmer to make the fence square, that would be easiest. The physicist then said that it would be better to make it as a circle, because then he would get as much space as possible. The mathematician laughed and said that you can get a lot more space then that! He took some pieces of fence and rolled it around himself, then he defined himself outside the fence! 2) Infinitely many mathematicians walked into a bar, the first one asked for one beer, the next one asked for half a beer, the third one asked for a quarter of a beer and the fourth one asked for one eight of a beer, then the bartender said :"screw this" and filled two glasses of beer! 3) An engineer was working on a problem when suddenly his trash bin caught fire. He immediately grabbed the fire extinguisher and put out the fire. In the next room a physicist was also working on a problem when his trash caught fire, he thought, fire extinguisher block oxygen from the fire, ergo fire is put out. So he grabs the fire extinguisher and puts out the fire. In the third room there was a mathematician working on a problem, his trash bin also caught fire so he looked at and thought, problem has a solution, and continued working! |
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What did the zero say to the eight? "Nice belt." |
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Test to tell the difference between a Physicist or a Mathematician Consider the following scenario: A room with a sink at the far end with a working cold water faucet plus a table with the following items on top – small bucket, ring stand, Bunsen burner, and a pack of matches. The problem is to boil water. If the individual picks up the bucket from the table, walks to the sink and fills the bucket from the faucet, brings it back to the table, sets it on the ring stand, puts the Bunsen burner under the stand, and then lights the burner and waits for the water to boil … this establishes the base line but does not separate which it the Physicist and which is the Mathematician. Test scenario 2: The bucket is now sitting on the floor under the table and the problem is again to boil water. If the individual picks up the bucket from under the table, walks directly to the sink and fills the bucket from the faucet, brings it back to the table, sets it on the ring stand, puts the Bunsen burner under the stand, and then lights the burner and waits for the water to boil … this proves that this individual is the Physicist. However, if the individual picks up the bucket from under the table and places it back on top of the table thus reducing the current problem to a form that they have previously solved … this proves that this individual is the Mathematician. |
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I first heard this on an episode of the Big Bang Theory, I don't know the origin. The physicist asks the mathematician: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" The mathematician ponders a while and then replies: "I have a solution, but it only works for a spherical chicken in a vacuum." |
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Q: What did the threefold blown up at two points say while waiting in a long line for a restroom? A: I have to pee too. |
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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third one a quarter of beer and so on. After a while of this happening, the bartender says "Come on guys! So many people and not even a couple of beers??". |
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Q: Why was 3 afraid of 5? A: Because "5 8 13." (Works better when you actually say it out loud...) |
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For actual humour, rather than simply bad puns, I recommend the books:
As well as the odd bad pun, they also contain many anecdotes demonstrating that scientists (and mathematicians) are also human. A few that have stuck in my memory: just about every "mathematics of big game hunting" method, the various "proof by ...", a (genuine!) article co-authored by a cat, and a disturbing article on refereemanship. |
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Fesenko's math joke collection, selected from the Cherkaev collection. |
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Posterior Analysis: when a statistician looks at the rear end of a member of the appropriate sex. |
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Ugh, why aren't these posted yet:
etc. |
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Check out the book 777 Mathematical Conversation Starters by John de Pillis. The subject of the book is mathematics topics to talk about, but it is also full of interesting quotes, jokes, and cartoons. |
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If we can formalize the property of "being a good math joke" good enough to construct a Turing Machine that checks it, then I think we can conclude they don't exist. The reason is that in that case we can construct a Turing Machine (say of length N) that checks each possible string, and stops only if a good math joke was found. The busy beaver function on N establishes an upper bound for the number of strings the machine needs to check until we can conclude that it wouldn't halt (and therefore no good math jokes exist). Based on empirical evidence, it may be possible that all those cases have already been checked (with negative answer), which implies my thesis. (I'm being ironical, I like much of the jokes posted in here :P) |
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Dear All, I just stumbled onto this site. Among other things that I do (chemistry, music), I am a humor theorist who specializes in using mathematical methods to study humor (mostly, I study either the logic of humor or do neuromathematical modeling of how we think the brain responds to humor in places like the pre-frontal cortex and the brainstem). In any case, I am a reviewer for Humor, which is THE peer-reviewed journal for humor studies and I have written a review of exactly what you are looking for: a book of mathematical humor written by a mathematician. The book is called Comic Sections and was written by the Irish mathematician, Desmond McHale. Unfortunately, Humor is a subscription journal, so the review is unavailable, as is, apparently, the book. It is out of print. If you wish to contact him, his e-mail may be found through the math department at the University of Cork, Ireland. Donald Casadonte |
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In a math party, all were having a good time. y was the dj, everybody was Riemmanly drunk. Then, when the x saw e^x on a corner crying, he asked: - Hey e^x, why don't you integrate ? - Because I keep always the same!!! |
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A mathematician in a job interview was asked, "We need to see what kind of attitude you have toward problem solving. So tell us, is the glass half empty or half full." His reply, "It's 1-x." -William Mauritzen |
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After a 1-dimensional collapse, what did the 1-simplex show that new chick from logistics? |
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Q: What's purple and commutes? A: An abelian grape! |
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As it would be impossible to prove that good math jokes don't exist I would have to say that the probability is better than zero. |
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The answer to the question posed in the title "Do Good Math Jokes Exist" is yes and is easily found on google. |
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12 ? The least integer that symbolizes all integers just by itself. Successors: 123, 1234... |
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