Have a good joke? Share.
I know this is subjective, but the principle "should be of interest to mathematicians" trumps. (I hope.)
Have a good joke? Share. I know this is subjective, but the principle "should be of interest to mathematicians" trumps. (I hope.) 

closed as off topic by S. Carnahan♦, Scott Morrison♦ Dec 24 '09 at 2:21Questions on MathOverflow are expected to relate to research level mathematics within the scope defined by the community. Consider editing the question or leaving comments for improvement if you believe the question can be reworded to fit within the scope. Read more about reopening questions here. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question. 


A creation of my own: Q:What did the simplicial set say to the fibrant replacement functor? A:"Oh, I'm so horny..." 


Abstruse Goose is great for maths and physics jokes. 


I first heard this on an episode of the Big Bang Theory, I don't know the origin. The physicist asks the mathematician: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" The mathematician ponders a while and then replies: "I have a solution, but it only works for a spherical chicken in a vacuum." 


a pure and applied mathematician were sitting in a bar, when they spotted a hot chick 2 meters away. However, this was a weird place where they could take one 1 meter step and each consecutive would have to be half of the length of the previous one. The pure mathematician was sad because he knew he could never get to the girl. The applied one was happy because he knew that for all practical purposes he can get close enough. 


Q: What did the threefold blown up at two points say while waiting in a long line for a restroom? A: I have to pee too. 


Posterior Analysis: when a statistician looks at the rear end of a member of the appropriate sex. 


Quite a few mathematics / academic jokes here. 


An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third one a quarter of beer and so on. After a while of this happening, the bartender says "Come on guys! So many people and not even a couple of beers??". 


Test to tell the difference between a Physicist or a Mathematician Consider the following scenario: A room with a sink at the far end with a working cold water faucet plus a table with the following items on top – small bucket, ring stand, Bunsen burner, and a pack of matches. The problem is to boil water. If the individual picks up the bucket from the table, walks to the sink and fills the bucket from the faucet, brings it back to the table, sets it on the ring stand, puts the Bunsen burner under the stand, and then lights the burner and waits for the water to boil … this establishes the base line but does not separate which it the Physicist and which is the Mathematician. Test scenario 2: The bucket is now sitting on the floor under the table and the problem is again to boil water. If the individual picks up the bucket from under the table, walks directly to the sink and fills the bucket from the faucet, brings it back to the table, sets it on the ring stand, puts the Bunsen burner under the stand, and then lights the burner and waits for the water to boil … this proves that this individual is the Physicist. However, if the individual picks up the bucket from under the table and places it back on top of the table thus reducing the current problem to a form that they have previously solved … this proves that this individual is the Mathematician. 


For actual humour, rather than simply bad puns, I recommend the books:
As well as the odd bad pun, they also contain many anecdotes demonstrating that scientists (and mathematicians) are also human. A few that have stuck in my memory: just about every "mathematics of big game hunting" method, the various "proof by ...", a (genuine!) article coauthored by a cat, and a disturbing article on refereemanship. 


Check out the book 777 Mathematical Conversation Starters by John de Pillis. The subject of the book is mathematics topics to talk about, but it is also full of interesting quotes, jokes, and cartoons. 


Fesenko's math joke collection, selected from the Cherkaev collection. 


In a math party, all were having a good time. y was the dj, everybody was Riemmanly drunk. Then, when the x saw e^x on a corner crying, he asked:  Hey e^x, why don't you integrate ?  Because I keep always the same!!! 


Ugh, why aren't these posted yet:
etc. 


If we can formalize the property of "being a good math joke" good enough to construct a Turing Machine that checks it, then I think we can conclude they don't exist. The reason is that in that case we can construct a Turing Machine (say of length N) that checks each possible string, and stops only if a good math joke was found. The busy beaver function on N establishes an upper bound for the number of strings the machine needs to check until we can conclude that it wouldn't halt (and therefore no good math jokes exist). Based on empirical evidence, it may be possible that all those cases have already been checked (with negative answer), which implies my thesis. (I'm being ironical, I like much of the jokes posted in here :P) 


A mathematician in a job interview was asked, "We need to see what kind of attitude you have toward problem solving. So tell us, is the glass half empty or half full." His reply, "It's 1x." William Mauritzen 


After a 1dimensional collapse, what did the 1simplex show that new chick from logistics? 


Q: What's purple and commutes? A: An abelian grape! 


As it would be impossible to prove that good math jokes don't exist I would have to say that the probability is better than zero. 


The answer to the question posed in the title "Do Good Math Jokes Exist" is yes and is easily found on google. 


12 ? The least integer that symbolizes all integers just by itself. Successors: 123, 1234... 

