Do good math jokes exist? - MathOverflow [closed] most recent 30 from http://mathoverflow.net 2013-06-20T06:05:13Z http://mathoverflow.net/feeds/question/1083 http://www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/rdf http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist Do good math jokes exist? Justin 2009-10-18T21:47:45Z 2011-09-02T08:31:01Z <p>Have a good joke? Share.</p> <p>I know this is subjective, but the principle "should be of interest to mathematicians" trumps. (I hope.)</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1085#1085 Answer by David Zureick-Brown for Do good math jokes exist? David Zureick-Brown 2009-10-18T21:54:35Z 2009-10-18T21:54:35Z <p>There's a <a href="http://www.ams.org/notices/200501/fea-dundes.pdf" rel="nofollow">Notices</a> article on this.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1091#1091 Answer by Harrison Brown for Do good math jokes exist? Harrison Brown 2009-10-18T22:16:14Z 2009-10-18T22:16:14Z <p>I've always thought that "What's the value of a contour integral around Western Europe?" "Zero. All the Poles are in Eastern Europe." was pretty good, although not laugh-out-loud funny by any means.</p> <p>Another one I personally like is "What's an anagram of Banach-Tarski?" "Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski."</p> <p>It's not really a "joke," (and whether it's "mathematical" is, I suppose, debatable), but Knuth's <a href="http://www.cs.utexas.edu/users/arvindn/misc/knuth%5Fsong%5Fcomplexity.pdf" rel="nofollow">article</a> on the complexity of songs is pretty great.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1103#1103 Answer by Alon Amit for Do good math jokes exist? Alon Amit 2009-10-18T23:47:24Z 2011-09-02T08:31:01Z <p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Lehrer" rel="nofollow">Tom Lehrer</a> was a Mathematician and this comes through in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HkLsfa67mA" rel="nofollow">several</a> of his famous <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IL4vWJbwmqM" rel="nofollow">skits</a>. Not precisely a "math joke", but still mathy and pretty darn funny.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1106#1106 Answer by las3rjock for Do good math jokes exist? las3rjock 2009-10-19T00:13:36Z 2009-10-19T01:08:35Z <p>An excerpt from H. Petard, "<a href="http://www.gap-system.org/~history/Extras/Spitzer%5Flion.html" rel="nofollow">A contribution to the mathematical theory of big game hunting</a>," The American Mathematical Monthly, vol. 45, no. 7, pp. 446-447, 1938:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>The Hilbert, or axiomatic, method.</strong> We place a locked cage at a given point of the desert. We then introduce the following logical system.</p> <ul> <li>Axiom I. The class of lions in the Sahara Desert is non-void.</li> <li>Axiom II. If there is a lion in the Sahara Desert, there is a lion in the cage.</li> <li>Rule of Procedure. If <em>p</em> is a theorem, and "<em>p</em> implies <em>q</em>" is a theorem, then <em>q</em> is a theorem.</li> <li>Theorem I. There is a lion in the cage.</li> </ul> <p><strong>The method of inversive geometry.</strong> We place a <em>spherical</em> cage in the desert, enter it, and lock it. We perform an inversion with respect to the cage. The lion is then in the interior of the cage, and we are outside.</p> <p><strong>The method of projective geometry.</strong> Without loss of generality, we may regard the Sahara Desert as a plane. Project the plane into a line, and then project the line into an interior point of the cage. The lion is projected into the same point.</p> <p><strong>The Bolzano-Weierstrass method.</strong> Bisect the desert by a line running N-S. The lion is either in the E portion or in the W portion; let us suppose him to be in the W portion. Bisect this portion by a line running E-W. The lion is either in the N portion or in the S portion; let us suppose him to be in the N portion. We continue this process indefinitely, constructing a sufficiently strong fence about the chosen portion at each step. The diameter of the chosen portions approaches zero, so that the lion is ultimately surrounded by a fence of arbitrarily small perimeter.</p> </blockquote> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1107#1107 Answer by William Mauritzen for Do good math jokes exist? William Mauritzen 2009-10-19T00:16:11Z 2009-10-19T00:16:11Z <p>A mathematician in a job interview was asked, "We need to see what kind of attitude you have toward problem solving. So tell us, is the glass half empty or half full."</p> <p>His reply, "It's 1-x."</p> <p>-William Mauritzen</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1109#1109 Answer by las3rjock for Do good math jokes exist? las3rjock 2009-10-19T00:29:09Z 2009-10-19T00:29:09Z <p>"<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTby%5Fe4-Rhg" rel="nofollow">Finite Simple Group (of Order Two)</a>" by the <a href="http://www.kleinfour.com/" rel="nofollow">Klein Four</a> <em>a cappella</em> group at <a href="http://www.northwestern.edu/" rel="nofollow">Northwestern University</a> (lyrics by Matt Salomone):</p> <pre><code>The path of love is never smooth But mine's continuous for you You're the upper bound in the chains of my heart You're my Axiom of Choice, you know it's true But lately our relation's not so well-defined And I just can't function without you I'll prove my proposition and I'm sure you'll find We're a finite simple group of order two I'm losing my identity I'm getting tensor every day And without loss of generality I will assume that you feel the same way Since every time I see you, you just quotient out The faithful image that I map into But when we're one-to-one you'll see what I'm about 'Cause we're a finite simple group of order two Our equivalence was stable, A principal love bundle sitting deep inside But then you drove a wedge between our two-forms Now everything is so complexified When we first met, we simply connected My heart was open but too dense Our system was already directed To have a finite limit, in some sense I'm living in the kernel of a rank-one map From my domain, its image looks so blue, 'Cause all I see are zeroes, it's a cruel trap But we're a finite simple group of order two I'm not the smoothest operator in my class, But we're a mirror pair, me and you, So let's apply forgetful functors to the past And be a finite simple group, a finite simple group, Let's be a finite simple group of order two (Oughter: "Why not three?") I've proved my proposition now, as you can see, So let's both be associative and free And by corollary, this shows you and I to be Purely inseparable. Q. E. D. </code></pre> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1110#1110 Answer by David Zureick-Brown for Do good math jokes exist? David Zureick-Brown 2009-10-19T00:30:44Z 2009-10-19T00:30:44Z <p>I received today this comment about a paper:</p> <blockquote> <p>3 lines before section 2.1: A few typos: corresponds, 5-isogeny (I guess a 5-isogenie grants you five wishes?)</p> </blockquote> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1111#1111 Answer by Deane Yang for Do good math jokes exist? Deane Yang 2009-10-19T00:33:44Z 2009-10-19T00:33:44Z <p>Based on the answers above, no.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1112#1112 Answer by Richard Dore for Do good math jokes exist? Richard Dore 2009-10-19T00:36:41Z 2009-10-19T00:36:41Z <p>Q: How do you tell an extroverted mathematican from an introverted one?</p> <p>A: An extroverted mathematician stares at <em>your</em> shoes when talking to you.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1131#1131 Answer by Michael Kleber for Do good math jokes exist? Michael Kleber 2009-10-19T01:26:40Z 2009-10-19T13:30:55Z <p>Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?</p> <p>A: One: she gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that has already been solved.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1133#1133 Answer by physis for Do good math jokes exist? physis 2009-10-19T01:58:15Z 2009-10-19T01:58:15Z <p>If somebody likes mathematical logic, category theory, lambda calculus, combinatory logic, then the following article can provide him/her jokes that are at the same time correct mathematical theorems:</p> <p>Ruehr, Fritz (2001). <em><a href="http://www.willamette.edu/~fruehr/haskell/evolution.html" rel="nofollow">The Evolution of a Haskell Programmer</a></em>. Willamette University.</p> <p>The article provides approaches to implement a mere Fibonacci function with such "over-calibrated" methods like harnessing deep metamathematical theorems (combinatory logic, category theory).</p> <p>Haskell is a programming language (named after the logician Haskell B. Curry). It has been developed by academia (not by industry or market), and most motivations behind its creation was cleanness and purity. And it is based directly on lambda calculus, type theory, combinatory logic. Many of the programmer practice in it is based on category theory and algebra.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1160#1160 Answer by Sam Derbyshire for Do good math jokes exist? Sam Derbyshire 2009-10-19T05:18:50Z 2009-10-19T05:18:50Z <p>I like this one:</p> <p>A mathematican walks into a bar accompanied by a dog and a cow. <br /> The bartender says, “Hey, no animals are allowed in here!” <br /> The mathematician replies, “These are very special animals.” <br /> “How so?” <br /> “They’re knot theorists.” <br /> The bartender raises his eyebrows and says, “I’ve met a number of knot theorists who I thought were animals, but never an animal that was a knot theorist.” <br /> “Well, I’ll prove it to you. Ask them them anything you like.” <br /> So the bartender asks the dog, “Name a knot invariant.” <br /> “Arf! Arf!” barks the dog. <br /> The bartender scowls and turns to the cow asking, “Name a topological invariant.” <br /> “Mu! Mu!” says the cow. <br /> At this point the bartender turns to the mathematican and says, “Very funny.” With that, he throws the three out of the bar. <br /> Outside, sitting on the curb, the dog turns to the mathematican and asks, “Do you think I should have said the Jones polynomial instead?”</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1170#1170 Answer by Alison Miller for Do good math jokes exist? Alison Miller 2009-10-19T06:25:23Z 2009-10-19T06:25:23Z <p>Perhaps the question should be, not "Do good math jokes <em>exist</em>", but "are they <em>unique</em>"?</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1171#1171 Answer by Mikael Vejdemo-Johansson for Do good math jokes exist? Mikael Vejdemo-Johansson 2009-10-19T06:34:24Z 2009-10-19T06:34:24Z <p>I find the observation that the grade school carry operation from addition-with-carry forms a non-trivial degree 1 cocycle in the group cohomology of Z/10 a pretty good joke embedded in mathematics.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1172#1172 Answer by Anton Geraschenko for Do good math jokes exist? Anton Geraschenko 2009-10-19T06:35:14Z 2009-10-19T06:35:14Z <p>Here's one I came up with a few years ago that I'm quite proud of.</p> <blockquote> <p>Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with an elephant?<br> A: The trivial elephant bundle on a chicken.</p> </blockquote> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1196#1196 Answer by Thomas Riepe for Do good math jokes exist? Thomas Riepe 2009-10-19T10:50:44Z 2009-10-19T10:50:44Z <p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurd_La%C3%9Fwitz" rel="nofollow" title="eng. wiki on Kurd Lasswitz">Kurd Lasswitz</a>, mathematician, writer, inventor of science fiction in Germany, wrote this <a href="http://gutenberg.spiegel.de/?id=5&amp;xid=1557&amp;kapitel=1#gb_found" rel="nofollow" title="text in gutenberg library">"nth part of Faust"</a> for the Breslau Mathematical Society 1882:</p> <p>"Personen:<br/> Prost, Stud. math. in höheren Semestern, steht vor dem Staats-Examen,<br/> Mephisto, Dx (sprich De-ix), Differentialgeisterkönig, ein Fuchs.<br/> Ort Breslau. Zeit: Nach dem Abendessen. (Rechts ein Sofa, auf dem Tische zwischen allerlei Büchern ein Bierseidel und Bierflaschen, links eine Tafel auf einem Gestell, Kreide und Schwamm. Auf der Tafel ist eine die gesamt Fläche einnehmende ungeheuerliche Differentialgleichung aufgeschrieben).</p> <p>Prost am Tische, mit den Büchern beschäftigt. Er stärkt sich.</p> <p>Prost</p> <p>Habe nun, ach, Geometrie, Analysis und Algebra<br/> und leider auch Zahlentheorie studiert,<br/> und wie, das weiß man ja!<br/> Da steh' ich nun als Kandidat<br/> und finde zur Arbeit keinen Rat.<br/> Ließe mich gern Herr Doktor lästern;<br/> zieh' ich doch schon seit zwölf Semestern<br/> herauf, herab und quer und krumm<br/> meine Zeichen auf dem Papiere herum,<br/> und seh', daß wir nichts integrieren können.<br/> Es ist wahrhaftig zum Kopfeinrennen.<br/></p> <p>Zwar bin ich nicht so hirnverbrannt,<br/> daß ich mich quälte als Pedant,<br/> wenn ich 'ne Reihe potenziere,<br/> zu seh'n, ob sie auch konvergiere, <br/> ... "</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1203#1203 Answer by Peter Arndt for Do good math jokes exist? Peter Arndt 2009-10-19T12:04:59Z 2009-10-19T12:04:59Z <p>A creation of my own:</p> <p>Q:What did the simplicial set say to the fibrant replacement functor?</p> <p>A:"Oh, I'm so horny..."</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1204#1204 Answer by Martin Peck for Do good math jokes exist? Martin Peck 2009-10-19T12:24:00Z 2009-10-19T12:24:00Z <p>As it would be impossible to prove that good math jokes don't exist I would have to say that the probability is better than zero. </p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1205#1205 Answer by Frank Meulenaar for Do good math jokes exist? Frank Meulenaar 2009-10-19T12:24:19Z 2009-10-19T12:24:19Z <p>Ugh, why aren't these posted yet:</p> <blockquote> <p>Q: What's purple and commutes? A: An Abelian grape. </p> <p>Q: What's sour, yellow, and equivalent to the axiom of choice? A: Zorn's lemon. </p> </blockquote> <p>etc.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1207#1207 Answer by Jacob for Do good math jokes exist? Jacob 2009-10-19T12:38:30Z 2009-10-19T12:38:30Z <p>Quite a few mathematics / academic jokes <a href="http://www.markjoshi.com/Ashland/Jokes.html" rel="nofollow">here</a>.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1209#1209 Answer by Jason Baker for Do good math jokes exist? Jason Baker 2009-10-19T12:45:01Z 2009-10-19T12:45:01Z <blockquote> <p>A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were all drinking coffee and tea and observing a house across the street from them. They notice that two people walk into the house and then an hour later, three people walk out.</p> <p>Physicist: An experimental error. Our first measurement was incorrect.</p> <p>Biologist: No, they've obviously reproduced.</p> <p>Mathematician: No, now when a one person enters the house, it'll be empty again.</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.physicsforums.com/archive/index.php/t-4409.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.physicsforums.com/archive/index.php/t-4409.html</a></p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1215#1215 Answer by Gerald Edgar for Do good math jokes exist? Gerald Edgar 2009-10-19T13:38:32Z 2009-10-19T13:38:32Z <p>A swiftie. Most of you are probably too young to remember them...</p> <p>“ <img src="http://i34.tinypic.com/3517mex.jpg" alt="length" /> ” said Tom at length.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1218#1218 Answer by Anna Varvak for Do good math jokes exist? Anna Varvak 2009-10-19T14:18:26Z 2009-10-19T14:18:26Z <p><strong>"Why did the chicken cross the Mobius band?"</strong></p> <p>The question isn't whether good math jokes exist, but whether they can be classified. The example above works because it plays on ones expectation of the "chicken crossing the road" jokes. Another one in the same vein, known as the shortest math joke:</p> <p><strong>"Let epsilon&lt;0."</strong></p> <p>Another one, which I actually heard in class:</p> <p><strong>"Take a positive integer N. No wait, N is too big; take a positive integer k."</strong></p> <p>Here is a non-exhaustive classification of math jokes:</p> <ul> <li>Puns on mathematical terminology</li> <li>Mathematical reasoning in non-mathematical setting</li> <li>Twists on expectations</li> <li>Meta-jokes approached in a mathematical mode of enquiry</li> </ul> <p>A joke can belong to more than one classification. For example, the "Dog and cow knot theorists" has both puns and a twist on expectations. </p> <p>By the way, I would exclude jokes which are purely made on stereotypes, like the above joke on extrovert mathematician, because I don't find it funny.</p> <p>I leave with one of my favorite meta-jokes:</p> <p><strong>"How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task? A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question."</strong></p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1227#1227 Answer by Greg Muller for Do good math jokes exist? Greg Muller 2009-10-19T15:51:47Z 2009-10-19T15:51:47Z <p>An engineer hears that a famous mathematician will be giving a public lecture, and always having a soft spot for math, he attends. The mathematician then talks at length about all sorts of amazing phenomena that happen in 17 dimensional space. The engineer, amazed at this mathematician's intuition for 17 dimensional space, goes up to him afterwards and asks 'How do you picture 17 dimensions?", to which the mathematician answers 'Oh, its easy. Just imagine n-dimensional space, and set n equal to 17.'</p> <p>My dad (an engineer) loves that joke.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1229#1229 Answer by zvasilyev for Do good math jokes exist? zvasilyev 2009-10-19T16:03:15Z 2009-10-19T16:03:15Z <p><code>The spectral sequence is like the mini-skirt; it shows what is interesting while hiding the essential.</code></p> <p>This saying is attributed to someone from Bourbaki in <a href="http://www.jstor.org/pss/301970" rel="nofollow">Bourbaki's Art of Memory.</a></p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1234#1234 Answer by Derek for Do good math jokes exist? Derek 2009-10-19T16:26:01Z 2009-10-19T16:26:01Z <p>What did the zero say to the eight? "Nice belt."</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1239#1239 Answer by Mike Stay for Do good math jokes exist? Mike Stay 2009-10-19T17:19:06Z 2009-10-19T17:19:06Z <p>Here are a few of my own inventions:</p> <p>Old Macdonald had a form; e<sub>i</sub> /\ e<sub>i</sub> = 0</p> <p>Save the environment: use continuation passing style!</p> <p>What shape of pasta takes the least time to eat? Brachistochroni!</p> <p>You might be a mathematician if you think fog is a composition.</p> <p>The Yoda embedding, contravariant it is.</p> <p>How are Goethe's Faust novels like isomorphisms of sets? Dey're de monic epics.</p> <p>I'm kind of in two minds about this whole Schroedinger's cat thing...</p> <p>qwhine, n. self-recrimination</p> <p>recursive: (λ damn. damn (damn)) (λ damn. damn (damn))</p> <p>Coeschatology: the study of the beginning of times. The coend is ming!</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1241#1241 Answer by Qiaochu Yuan for Do good math jokes exist? Qiaochu Yuan 2009-10-19T17:28:43Z 2009-10-19T17:28:43Z <p>Mike's last joke reminded me of this one: a comathematician is a device for turning cotheorems into ffee.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1541#1541 Answer by Scott Morrison for Do good math jokes exist? Scott Morrison 2009-10-21T01:02:29Z 2009-10-21T01:02:29Z <p>My favourite, from <a href="http://www.lehigh.edu/~dmd1/eilobit" rel="nofollow">Eilenberg's obituary</a>:</p> <p>When someone once asked Professor Eilenberg if he could eat Chinese food with three chopsticks, he answered, "Of course," according to Professor Morgan. The questioner asked, "How are you going to do it?" and Professor Eilenberg replied, "I'll take the three chopsticks, I'll put one of them aside on the table, and I'll use the other two."</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1542#1542 Answer by Scott Morrison for Do good math jokes exist? Scott Morrison 2009-10-21T01:06:26Z 2009-10-21T01:06:26Z <p>An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are driving through the high country in Scotland. Atop a hill, they see a black sheep.</p> <p>The engineer says: "All sheep are black!" The physicist says: "No, no, some sheep are black." The mathematician: "At least one sheep is black on at least one side."</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1547#1547 Answer by Darsh Ranjan for Do good math jokes exist? Darsh Ranjan 2009-10-21T01:54:54Z 2009-10-21T01:54:54Z <p>There's a mathematician whose non-mathematician friends are constantly ribbing him because his field is just so abstract and seems to have no relevance to the real world. One day, it gets to him, and he resolves to arm himself with some practical applications of research mathematics for the next encounter. He realizes that his own specialty (mathematical logic) is probably too far beyond them to be of any use there, so he goes to the department bulletin board to find an upcoming talk about something practical. Luckily, a talk is scheduled that afternoon on "the theory of gears." "Perfect!" he says. Nothing could be more practical, more down-to-earth. Finally, he'll be able to prove to his friends that mathematics is relevant to the real world. That afternoon, he's so excited that he goes to the talk five minutes early and sits in the first row of seats. Then, at the scheduled time, the speaker stands up and begins: "While the theory of gears with real numbers of teeth is well understood...." </p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1593#1593 Answer by diab for Do good math jokes exist? diab 2009-10-21T06:54:34Z 2009-10-21T06:54:34Z <p>An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third one a quarter of beer and so on. After a while of this happening, the bartender says "Come on guys! So many people and not even a couple of beers??".</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1636#1636 Answer by r for Do good math jokes exist? r 2009-10-21T11:57:01Z 2009-10-21T11:57:01Z <p>Have you head the one about the constipated mathematician?</p> <p>He had to work it with a pencil.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1748#1748 Answer by gowers for Do good math jokes exist? gowers 2009-10-21T22:17:38Z 2009-10-21T22:17:38Z <p>My favourite is supposedly a joke made by a mathematician who was interviewing a not very good graduate student who was taking generals. The interview was going badly, so to make the student feel better the mathematician asked him for an example of a non-compact topological space. "The reals?" suggested the student, to which the mathematician replied, "Which topology were you taking?"</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1751#1751 Answer by Gabe Cunningham for Do good math jokes exist? Gabe Cunningham 2009-10-21T22:34:04Z 2009-10-21T22:34:04Z <p>There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and 9 others.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1760#1760 Answer by 1331 for Do good math jokes exist? 1331 2009-10-21T23:14:25Z 2009-10-21T23:14:25Z <p>Check out the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/777-Mathematical-Conversation-Starters-Spectrum/dp/0883855402" rel="nofollow">777 Mathematical Conversation Starters</a> by John de Pillis. The subject of the book is mathematics topics to talk about, but it is also full of interesting quotes, jokes, and cartoons.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1764#1764 Answer by Eric Wofsey for Do good math jokes exist? Eric Wofsey 2009-10-21T23:51:51Z 2009-10-21T23:51:51Z <p>Here are some of my favorites that were invented by friends of mine:</p> <p>Q: What kind of maps should you take with you on car trips?</p> <p>A: Automorphisms.</p> <p>Q: What do you call it when you're trying to prove that a map is injective, but you just can't do it?</p> <p>A: Monic fail.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1775#1775 Answer by asdf for Do good math jokes exist? asdf 2009-10-22T01:14:29Z 2009-10-22T01:14:29Z <p>After a 1-dimensional collapse, what did the 1-simplex show that new chick from logistics?</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1866#1866 Answer by toothycat for Do good math jokes exist? toothycat 2009-10-22T12:36:35Z 2009-10-22T12:36:35Z <p><a href="http://abstrusegoose.com/9" rel="nofollow">Abstruse Goose</a> is great for maths and physics jokes.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1868#1868 Answer by foobar for Do good math jokes exist? foobar 2009-10-22T13:10:58Z 2009-10-22T13:10:58Z <p>12 ? The least integer that symbolizes all integers just by itself. Successors: 123, 1234...</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1932#1932 Answer by George Lowther for Do good math jokes exist? George Lowther 2009-10-22T19:55:00Z 2009-10-22T19:55:00Z <p>Do good math jokes exist? Under the axiom of choice, sure. But it's not possible to find an explicit example.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/1946#1946 Answer by larry Senner for Do good math jokes exist? larry Senner 2009-10-22T21:05:08Z 2009-10-22T21:05:08Z <p>The water receded and the Ark came to rest upon the land. Noah opened the doors and commanded the animals, “Go forth and multiply.” The animals slowly departed the Ark except for two snakes that remained in the back. Again Noah proclaimed ,“Go forth and multiply” yet the two snakes did not move. Noah walked to the back of the Arc and asked, “Why have you not followed my command”.? The snakes answered, “Noah, we can’t because we are Adders.”</p> <p>Noah then went out upon the land and felled several large trees; from these trees he made a four legged platform. He then went inside the Arc and carried the snakes outside and upon placing them on the platform, his words became true.</p> <p>As everyone knows … Adders can multiply using log tables.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/2143#2143 Answer by larry Senner for Do good math jokes exist? larry Senner 2009-10-23T18:36:05Z 2009-10-23T18:36:05Z <p>Test to tell the difference between a Physicist or a Mathematician</p> <p>Consider the following scenario: A room with a sink at the far end with a working cold water faucet plus a table with the following items on top – small bucket, ring stand, Bunsen burner, and a pack of matches. The problem is to boil water.</p> <p>If the individual picks up the bucket from the table, walks to the sink and fills the bucket from the faucet, brings it back to the table, sets it on the ring stand, puts the Bunsen burner under the stand, and then lights the burner and waits for the water to boil … this establishes the base line but does not separate which it the Physicist and which is the Mathematician.</p> <p>Test scenario 2: The bucket is now sitting on the floor under the table and the problem is again to boil water.</p> <p>If the individual picks up the bucket from under the table, walks directly to the sink and fills the bucket from the faucet, brings it back to the table, sets it on the ring stand, puts the Bunsen burner under the stand, and then lights the burner and waits for the water to boil … this proves that this individual is the Physicist.</p> <p>However, if the individual picks up the bucket from under the table and places it back on top of the table thus reducing the current problem to a form that they have previously solved … this proves that this individual is the Mathematician.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/2197#2197 Answer by Eitan Chatav for Do good math jokes exist? Eitan Chatav 2009-10-23T21:39:40Z 2009-10-23T21:39:40Z <p>Your momma's so fat she's not embeddable in R^3. Oh yeah? Your momma's so fat she contradicts Whitney's theorem.</p> <p>A topologist is someone who doesn't know the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground but does know the difference between his ass and two holes in the ground.</p> <p>I went to visit him while he was lying ill at the hospital. I had come in taxi cab number 14 and remarked that it was a rather dull number. "No" he replied, "it is a very interesting number. It's the smallest number expressible as the product of 7 and 2 in two different ways."</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/2207#2207 Answer by Manny Reyes for Do good math jokes exist? Manny Reyes 2009-10-23T22:40:17Z 2009-10-23T22:40:17Z <p>One of my favorites. It's about a statistician - close enough for me. (I found this version of the joke <a href="http://www.phy.ilstu.edu/~rfm/107F07/EPMjokes.html" rel="nofollow">here</a>)</p> <p>A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician were out game hunting. The engineer spied a bear in the distance, so they got a little closer. "Let me take the first shot!" said the engineer, who missed the bear by three metres to the left. "You're incompetent! Let me try" insisted the physicist, who then proceeded to miss by three metres to the right. "Ooh, we <em>got</em> him!!" said the statistician. </p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/2254#2254 Answer by aorq for Do good math jokes exist? aorq 2009-10-24T06:04:13Z 2009-10-24T06:04:13Z <p><strong>My favorite one-liner</strong>:</p> <p>Why did the mathematician name his dog "Cauchy"? Because he left a residue at every pole.</p> <p><strong>My favorite anecdote</strong>:</p> <p>An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician find themselves in an anecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have no doubt already heard. After some observations and rough calculations the engineer realizes the situation and starts laughing. A few minutes later the physicist understands too and chuckles to himself happily, as he now has enough experimental evidence to publish a paper. This leaves the mathematician somewhat perplexed, as he had observed right away that he was the subject of an anecdote and deduced quite rapidly the presence of humor from similar anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/2537#2537 Answer by Diego de Estrada for Do good math jokes exist? Diego de Estrada 2009-10-26T00:10:53Z 2009-10-26T00:17:41Z <p>If we can formalize the property of "being a good math joke" good enough to construct a Turing Machine that checks it, then I think we can conclude they don't exist.</p> <p>The reason is that in that case we can construct a Turing Machine (say of length N) that checks each possible string, and stops only if a good math joke was found. The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Busy%5Fbeaver" rel="nofollow">busy beaver function</a> on N establishes an upper bound for the number of strings the machine needs to check until we can conclude that it wouldn't halt (and therefore no good math jokes exist).</p> <p>Based on empirical evidence, it may be possible that all those cases have already been checked (with negative answer), which implies my thesis.</p> <p>(I'm being ironical, I like much of the jokes posted in here :P)</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/2544#2544 Answer by John Goodrick for Do good math jokes exist? John Goodrick 2009-10-26T00:48:57Z 2009-10-26T00:48:57Z <p>Q: Why was 3 afraid of 5?</p> <p>A: Because "5 8 13."</p> <p>(Works better when you actually say it out loud...)</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/2582#2582 Answer by Andrew Stacey for Do good math jokes exist? Andrew Stacey 2009-10-26T07:28:34Z 2009-10-26T07:28:34Z <p>For actual humour, rather than simply bad puns, I recommend the books:</p> <ul> <li>A Random Walk in Science</li> <li>More Random Walks in Science</li> </ul> <p>As well as the odd bad pun, they also contain many anecdotes demonstrating that scientists (and mathematicians) are also human. A few that have stuck in my memory: just about every "mathematics of big game hunting" method, the various "proof by ...", a (genuine!) article co-authored by a cat, and a disturbing article on refereemanship.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/2960#2960 Answer by Jon for Do good math jokes exist? Jon 2009-10-28T00:43:28Z 2009-10-28T00:43:28Z <p>It was proven by Cantor that a good math joke exists. Unfortunately, his proof was entirely non-constructive.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/3441#3441 Answer by Humberto Rafeiro for Do good math jokes exist? Humberto Rafeiro 2009-10-30T13:25:53Z 2009-10-30T13:31:37Z <blockquote> <p>The continuous functions are having a ball. At the dance floor, cosine and sine are jumping up and down, and the polynomials are forming a ring. But the exponential function is standing separately the whole evening. Due to sympathy for it, the identity joins it and suggest: "Come one, just integrate yourself!" – "I've tried that already", answers the exponential function, "but it didn't change a bit!"</p> </blockquote> <p>another one</p> <blockquote> <p>Why the mathematician named his dog "Cauchy"? Because he leaves a residue at every pole</p> </blockquote> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/3492#3492 Answer by Jason S for Do good math jokes exist? Jason S 2009-10-30T23:44:19Z 2009-10-30T23:44:19Z <p>an anecdote about David Hilbert from the wonderful book (for us laymen ;-) <a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=qsoqLNQUIJMC&amp;pg=PA186" rel="nofollow">Prime Obsession</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Hilbert had a student who one day presented him with a paper purporting to prove the Riemann Hypothesis. Hilbert studied the paper carefully and was really impressed by depth of the argument; but unfortunately he found an error in it which even he could not eliminate. The following year the student died. Hilbert asked the grieving parents if he might be permitted to make a funeral oration. While the student's relatives and friends were weeping beside the grave in the rain, Hilbert came forward. He began by saying what a tragedy it was that such a gifted young man had died before he had had an opportunity to show what he could accomplish. But, he continued, in spite of the fact that this young man's proof of the Riemann Hypothesis contained an error, it was still possible that some day a proof of the famous problem would be obtained along the lines which the deceased had indicated. "In fact," he continued with enthusiasm, standing there in the rain by the dead student's grave, "let us consider a function of a complex variable...."</p> </blockquote> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/3500#3500 Answer by Garlef Wegart for Do good math jokes exist? Garlef Wegart 2009-10-31T01:23:33Z 2009-10-31T01:23:33Z <p>Here's a legend we have at our institute:</p> <p>Prof: "Give an example of a vector space."</p> <p>Student: "V"</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/3966#3966 Answer by petef for Do good math jokes exist? petef 2009-11-03T17:27:35Z 2009-11-03T17:27:35Z <p>I first heard this on an episode of the Big Bang Theory, I don't know the origin. </p> <p>The physicist asks the mathematician: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"</p> <p>The mathematician ponders a while and then replies: "I have a solution, but it only works for a spherical chicken in a vacuum."</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/4006#4006 Answer by joe s for Do good math jokes exist? joe s 2009-11-03T22:17:20Z 2009-11-03T22:17:20Z <p>Q: What's purple and commutes? A: An abelian grape!</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/4018#4018 Answer by Eric Wofsey for Do good math jokes exist? Eric Wofsey 2009-11-04T00:11:47Z 2009-11-04T00:11:47Z <p>Q: What's purple and commutes? A: A dead baby in a suitcase.</p> <p>Q: What's purple and commutes and has a certain number of followers? A: A dead baby Jesus in a suitcase.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/4050#4050 Answer by Ross Churchley for Do good math jokes exist? Ross Churchley 2009-11-04T04:26:18Z 2009-11-04T04:26:18Z <p>Less of a joke than an observation, but...</p> <p>I've always found it appropriate that online identity thieves are in the business of stealing ones and zeroes.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/4052#4052 Answer by ajm for Do good math jokes exist? ajm 2009-11-04T04:45:07Z 2009-11-04T04:45:07Z <p>Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?<br /> A: Möbius Dick...</p> <p><hr /></p> <p>A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time. Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake. </p> <p>When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that..." </p> <p><hr /></p> <p>"The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again..." </p> <p><hr /></p> <p>From a former prof. - <a href="http://www.math.ualberta.ca/~runde/jokes.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.math.ualberta.ca/~runde/jokes.html</a></p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/4378#4378 Answer by Gil Kalai for Do good math jokes exist? Gil Kalai 2009-11-06T13:33:15Z 2010-03-06T01:18:08Z <p>A millionaire is trying to scientifically develop the best racing horse. He asked a biologist, veterinary, trainer, and a mathematician. The biologist gives him an advice about which type of horse to cross with which other type, the veterinary advices on how to feed the horse, and how to keep him healthy, the trainer explains how to physically train the horse. The mathematician does not reply. After a few weeks the millionaire meets the mathematician and it looks that the mathematician did not sleep much in recent days. Do you have a solution for me, ask the millionaire? It is a difficult problem, answers the mathematician, but I think I have a satisfactory solution to the case of spherical horses. </p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/4420#4420 Answer by fedja for Do good math jokes exist? fedja 2009-11-06T19:28:29Z 2009-11-06T19:28:29Z <p>Here is the one I heard recently.</p> <p>Professor: What is a root of $f(z)$ of multiplicity $k$?</p> <p>Student: It is a number $a$ such that if you plug it into $f$, you get $0$; if you plug it in again, you again get $0$, and so $k$ times. But if you plug it into $f$ for the $k+1$-st time, you do not get $0$.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/4431#4431 Answer by Donald Casadonte for Do good math jokes exist? Donald Casadonte 2009-11-06T20:28:41Z 2009-11-21T09:06:37Z <p>Dear All,</p> <p>I just stumbled onto this site.</p> <p>Among other things that I do (chemistry, music), I am a humor theorist who specializes in using mathematical methods to study humor (mostly, I study either the logic of humor or do neuromathematical modeling of how we think the brain responds to humor in places like the pre-frontal cortex and the brainstem).</p> <p>In any case, I am a reviewer for Humor, which is THE peer-reviewed journal for humor studies and I have written a review of exactly what you are looking for: a book of mathematical humor written by a mathematician. The book is called Comic Sections and was written by the Irish mathematician, Desmond McHale. Unfortunately, Humor is a subscription journal, so the review is unavailable, as is, apparently, the book. It is out of print. If you wish to contact him, his e-mail may be found through the math department at the University of Cork, Ireland.</p> <p>Donald Casadonte</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/4480#4480 Answer by Amy Pang for Do good math jokes exist? Amy Pang 2009-11-07T01:44:27Z 2010-04-19T07:54:27Z <p>A friend made this up recently (I prefer the first half on its own):</p> <p>"No meal is complete without soup. But you have to order it first."</p> <p>Also I like this meta-joke, also by a friend (who didn't understand the original):</p> <p>"What's purple and commutes? An abelian eggplant."</p> <p>EDIT: one more, by Elizabeth: "Does this Hausdorff measure make me look fat?"</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/5324#5324 Answer by Greg Kuperberg for Do good math jokes exist? Greg Kuperberg 2009-11-13T07:49:53Z 2009-11-13T07:49:53Z <p>I once ad-libbed this one. (Alas, it is a late entrant.)</p> <p>Q: Why is it important to study Verma modules of Lie algebras?</p> <p>A: The most widely used modules of Lie algebras and Lie groups are finite-dimensional irreducible representations, the Weyl modules. Of course, you should learn them first when you study representation theory. But they are only the tip of the iceberg.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/6360#6360 Answer by Somnath Basu for Do good math jokes exist? Somnath Basu 2009-11-21T09:01:32Z 2009-11-21T09:01:32Z <p>I have a few that I've heard and liked.</p> <p>(1) The Mobius strippers always show their backside.</p> <p>(2) Apparently, a quote of Paul Erdos, but it's funny nonetheless : <em>Another roof, another proof.</em> </p> <p>(3) An experimental physicist meets a mathematician in a bar and they start talking. The physicict asks, "<em>What kind of math do you do?</em>" to which the mathematician replies, "<em>Knot theory.</em>" The physicist says, "<em>Me neither</em>!"</p> <p>(4) The primary reason Bourbaki stopped writing books was the realization that Lang was one single person.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/6534#6534 Answer by AndrewLMarshall for Do good math jokes exist? AndrewLMarshall 2009-11-23T05:30:45Z 2010-03-26T23:00:29Z <p>What did the forgetful functor do for his stoner friend?</p> <p>He left adjoint as a free object.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/6672#6672 Answer by Jonas Meyer for Do good math jokes exist? Jonas Meyer 2009-11-24T10:04:35Z 2009-11-24T10:04:35Z <p>I enjoy <a href="http://www.jmilne.org/math/tips.html" rel="nofollow">this page of Milne's Tips for Authors</a>.</p> <p>I also find the book Mathematics Made Difficult by Linderholm to be hilarious. I'm not going to search for favorites, but I find the first 2 exercises amusing:</p> <p>"1. Show that a finite subset of an arbitrary set <em>E</em> in a ring suffices to generate the ideal generated by <em>E</em> if, and only if, the ring is Noetherian.</p> <p>*2. Show that 17 x 17 = 289. Generalize this result."</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/6886#6886 Answer by Gil Kalai for Do good math jokes exist? Gil Kalai 2009-11-26T13:05:46Z 2009-11-26T13:05:46Z <p>Here is a joke I invented (based on a famous one) and had mixed reaction.</p> <p>A young mathematician comes to present to a famous mathematician his conjecture and ideas. "You are absolutely wrong," the famous mathematician dismissed the young one. Next enters another young mathematician and presents precisely the opposite conjecture. "You are absolutely wrong" replies the famous mathematician. The famous mathematician's wife interferes. "How could you tell <strong>both</strong> of them that they are wrong," she sais. "They have made completely opposite claims, one of them must be right!" "You are also wrong," replied the famous mathematician. </p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/6919#6919 Answer by Colin Diemer for Do good math jokes exist? Colin Diemer 2009-11-26T22:21:56Z 2009-11-26T22:21:56Z <p>Q: What did the threefold blown up at two points say while waiting in a long line for a restroom?</p> <p>A: I have to pee too. </p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/6920#6920 Answer by Peter McNamara for Do good math jokes exist? Peter McNamara 2009-11-26T22:35:28Z 2009-11-26T22:35:28Z <p>The answer to the question posed in the title "Do Good Math Jokes Exist" is yes and is <a href="http://justfuckinggoogleit.com/" rel="nofollow">easily found on google</a>.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/7030#7030 Answer by Thomas Riepe for Do good math jokes exist? Thomas Riepe 2009-11-28T08:51:40Z 2009-11-28T08:51:40Z <p><a href="http://www.maths.nott.ac.uk/personal/ibf/jokes.html" rel="nofollow" title="site">Fesenko's math joke collection</a>, selected from the <a href="http://www.math.utah.edu/~cherk/mathjokes.html" rel="nofollow" title="site">Cherkaev collection</a>.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/7072#7072 Answer by Elizabeth Henning for Do good math jokes exist? Elizabeth Henning 2009-11-28T19:35:33Z 2011-04-03T01:53:49Z <p>Don't remember where I saw this, but as a woman in mathematics, it tickles me no end:</p> <p>A poet, a priest, and a mathematician are discussing whether it's better to have a wife or a mistress. </p> <p>The poet argues that it's better to have a mistress because love should be free and spontaneous. </p> <p>The priest argues that it's better to have a wife because love should be sanctified by God. </p> <p>The mathematician says, "I think it's better to have both. That way, when each of them thinks you're with the other, you can do some mathematics."</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/7798#7798 Answer by Felipe Voloch for Do good math jokes exist? Felipe Voloch 2009-12-04T18:48:00Z 2011-06-09T12:11:50Z <p>A British mathematician was giving a talk in Grothendieck's seminar in Paris. He started "Let X be a variety...". This caused some talking among the students sitting in the back, who were asking each other "What's a variety?". J.-P. Serre, sitting in the front row, turns around a bit annoyed and says "Integral scheme of finite type over a field". </p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/7970#7970 Answer by ambrosiac for Do good math jokes exist? ambrosiac 2009-12-06T06:19:06Z 2009-12-06T06:19:06Z <p>(From the unpublished manuscript "Mathematics in a nutshell":)</p> <p>A coconut is just a nut</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/7972#7972 Answer by Kevin O'Bryant for Do good math jokes exist? Kevin O'Bryant 2009-12-06T06:48:07Z 2009-12-06T06:48:07Z <p>Theorem: There are infinitely many composite numbers.</p> <p>Proof: Suppose there are only finitely many, and multiply them together.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/8496#8496 Answer by Rado for Do good math jokes exist? Rado 2009-12-10T23:14:10Z 2009-12-10T23:14:10Z <p>a pure and applied mathematician were sitting in a bar, when they spotted a hot chick 2 meters away. However, this was a weird place where they could take one 1 meter step and each consecutive would have to be half of the length of the previous one.</p> <p>The pure mathematician was sad because he knew he could never get to the girl. The applied one was happy because he knew that for all practical purposes he can get close enough.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/8515#8515 Answer by RBarryYoung for Do good math jokes exist? RBarryYoung 2009-12-11T01:50:34Z 2009-12-11T01:50:34Z <p>Mathematician1: So why did you become a mathematician?</p> <p>Mathematician2: I don't like working with numbers.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/8738#8738 Answer by evan for Do good math jokes exist? evan 2009-12-13T07:32:18Z 2009-12-13T07:32:18Z <p>After introducing general topological spaces, the professor began to introduce the notion of convergence without a metric. He turned around and said, </p> <p>"I have no balls."</p> <p>A hit for months. </p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/8914#8914 Answer by jp for Do good math jokes exist? jp 2009-12-14T21:42:21Z 2009-12-14T21:42:21Z <p>If I remember correctly someone told me that this really happened:</p> <p>A famous mathematician gave a talk (maybe about mathematical physics), after which an as famous physicist sitting in the first row got up, and loudly declared: "That's all nice, but without mathematics, research in physics would be maybe a week behind the state it is now!"</p> <p>The famous mathematician responded: "Yes, the week god needed to create the world."</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/8931#8931 Answer by Steven Pav for Do good math jokes exist? Steven Pav 2009-12-15T01:31:20Z 2009-12-15T01:31:20Z <p><strong>Posterior Analysis</strong>: when a statistician looks at the rear end of a member of the appropriate sex.</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/9539#9539 Answer by the_sys for Do good math jokes exist? the_sys 2009-12-22T12:30:59Z 2009-12-22T12:30:59Z <p>In a math party, all were having a good time. y was the dj, everybody was Riemmanly drunk. Then, when the x saw e^x on a corner crying, he asked: - Hey e^x, why don't you integrate ? - Because I keep always the same!!!</p> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/9597#9597 Answer by Darsh Ranjan for Do good math jokes exist? Darsh Ranjan 2009-12-23T06:35:07Z 2009-12-23T06:35:07Z <p>jose's post reminds me of one I heard Michael Hutchings tell during an undergraduate calculus lecture: </p> <blockquote> <p>$e^x$ was walking down the street one day and met a polynomial running in the opposite direction. </p> <p>"Wait, why are you running?" asked $e^x$. The polynomial said: </p> <p>"There's a differential operator over there! It could differentiate me and turn me into zero!" And the polynomial continued running in fright. </p> <p>"Ha ha," $e^x$ said to himself. "I'm $e^x$! Let them differentiate me as many times as they want, it makes no difference to me!" So $e^x$ walked on and reached the differential operator. He confidently introduced himself: "Hi, I'm $e^x$!" The reply: </p> <p>"Hi, I'm $\partial/\partial y$!"</p></blockquote> http://mathoverflow.net/questions/1083/do-good-math-jokes-exist/9633#9633 Answer by Gumeo for Do good math jokes exist? Gumeo 2009-12-23T19:04:24Z 2009-12-23T19:04:24Z <p>I excuse my english if you spot some flaws...., since this is my first post here I thought it would be nice to share some neat jokes.</p> <p>1) A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were out in the countryside when they met a farmer trying to build a fence. They introduced themselves and the farmer asked them if they could help him shape the fence so he would get as much space as possible within it. The engineer stepped forward and said, that it would be best for the farmer to make the fence square, that would be easiest. The physicist then said that it would be better to make it as a circle, because then he would get as much space as possible. The mathematician laughed and said that you can get a lot more space then that! He took some pieces of fence and rolled it around himself, then he defined himself outside the fence!</p> <p>2) Infinitely many mathematicians walked into a bar, the first one asked for one beer, the next one asked for half a beer, the third one asked for a quarter of a beer and the fourth one asked for one eight of a beer, then the bartender said :"screw this" and filled two glasses of beer!</p> <p>3) An engineer was working on a problem when suddenly his trash bin caught fire. He immediately grabbed the fire extinguisher and put out the fire. In the next room a physicist was also working on a problem when his trash caught fire, he thought, fire extinguisher block oxygen from the fire, ergo fire is put out. So he grabs the fire extinguisher and puts out the fire. In the third room there was a mathematician working on a problem, his trash bin also caught fire so he looked at and thought, problem has a solution, and continued working!</p>